Saturday afternoon, sitting in my living room in Donauwörth, my 8 month old son is taking a short nap and I am trying to squeeze in grocery shopping, a hair appointment, dish washing, laundry, a quick 45 minute aerobic workout, prepare myself for the working week ahead and simultaneously work on this article. In short, a day in the life of a ”working mom” or a typical weekend for a working mom.

Sounds challenging?

Well, it is. With personal hands-on experience I can tell you that being a working mom and aspiring to a career in management, in what is still very much a male-dominated business environment, is the biggest challenge I have encountered so far. Though I must be fair and mention that my challenges might have escalated a bit more as I have during the past two years also moved countries (from the UK to Germany), which meant I had to experience and adapt to radically-changing cultures, work environments, and language in addition to the geographical changes I made, i.e. moving from London to Donauwörth. Originally Indian, following a decade of residence and work across the US, UK, Dubai, Australia, and India, I decided to settle in Germany primarily because my husband is native German.

Though the experiences that I can share on being a working woman across these diverse cultures is a story in itself, in this article I would like to focus on sharing my experiences and challenges as a working mother in a professional position in Germany. As I have not experienced these career challenges and opportunities post-motherhood in any of the other countries that I have resided in, I cannot compare, and do not want to compare (at least not in the negative context), the differences that working moms faces changing cultures or countries.

However, I can say from firsthand experience in working in one of Germany’s biggest cities with a German multinational firm, that both employers and employees (working women) have a long way to go before either side can achieve a positive balance. There is untapped Synergy yet to be realized for professional working moms and their employers in the workplace. By this I mean that there is great potential for employers and professional, educated women post-motherhood in the contribution that can be made to the growth of the German economy and society in general. However, in order to positively utilize this untapped potential there are certain structural changes in the system and changes in mentality (i.e. how working mothers are viewed in the workplace and the career opportunities given to them by their employers) that need to be addressed by the society in general.

There is no magic formula

Daily, my colleagues and friends are surprised by my schedule and how I balance work and family, including a two-hour commute back and forth to and from Munich every day. There is no magic formula. In order for me to achieve the balance I am after, I have personally set three main priorities that are the key drivers for my motivation, determination and perseverance. Firstly, the mindset that where there is a will, there is way. Secondly, we have to make some sacrifices in order to achieve our goals. I chose to live close to family (my mother-in-law) so that I could use the support of parents and therefore relocated myself to settle near my husband’s family, and thus have to drive almost 2 hours into work. Thirdly, I want during the course of my life to fully achieve my potential.

Since the age of 16 I have spent a major part of my life in educating myself with double degrees and building my experience in the business world, so does having a child mean that I must leave all my dreams, all my aspirations? I chose not to and rather sleep a little less, plan a little more, drive a little further – but really build a strong future for me and my family. Because this is what gives me satisfaction in life and makes me happy. For the right family balance to be achieved, members of the family need to be happy with and within themselves, and a happy mom means a happy family.

Is this a tough decision?

Of course, every day that I drive to work, every day that I am at work, I think about my son. There is a not a minute that goes by when I don’t think of him or want to be near him. But, I also think about the future of my son, my marriage and my personal aspirations that I have worked so hard for. Life balance starts with my internal balance and satisfaction with myself that I know I can only achieve when I achieve my goals.

Quota or no quota, man or women, we all have only one life, so the chance to live it fully, be it as a full- time mom or as a working mom, should be equal. The choices for women post- motherhood to be able to build and have a rewarding career, one that they can look back on with pride, after having achieved something both family-wise and career-wise, should be made available. Ultimately it is all about one’s choices in life.

In closing, I thank my family, my husband and my mother-in-law who provide the unconditional support enabling me to overcome these daily challenges of a Working Mom.

Tanya Schober